05/07/22
What a wild month June has been, but July is finally here and we will meet at last TODAY!
Feargha,
Thank you for your kind letter. As you know, I have been struggling with keeping myself accountable to my promises, like these letters or really anything that is life-sustaining. So if you’re reading this, it means I found the courage to commit.
I am aware I am weeks late in my response and have lost sight of my initial impressions, but I still found so much comfort in re-reading it tonight as I attempt to write to you one last time before seeing you Tuesday. When you read this I will be up with the clouds, somewhere across the Atlantic (or meandering around the old city of Frankfurt), headed your way, and approaching a future where our being together is no longer a fantasy but a certainty. Starting today, we will have (many) days where we no longer imagine ourselves together—but WILL be together. Will have many conversations that will be spoken rather than unspoken (or rudely cut off by whatsapp’s voice memo timer). Many mornings to meditate, many afternoons to explore, and many evenings to dance.
It is surreal to know we will FINALLY see each other—in person—after a year of virtual connecting. That I will be meeting you for the first time at the place where you were when I first found the courage to speak to you, when you became aware of my life, and I felt called to yours. It is surreal to think we will be meeting at midnight, that we have been given a chance to make up for what was taken from us (back in December). That we will be allowed to have a full first day (and only that) of being in each other's embrace. It all feels meant to be (perhaps it was faith that I would royally fuck up my time zones whilst booking this trip, lol. I hope so—I feel so lucky knowing this is how/when we will meet and that we will actually be in each other's company. Soon. That the pandemic didn’t take this away from us after all <3.
Yours,
Mariam